What drives you?

A few minutes ago, I was pondering: "What motivates me to do what I do?" I think what motivates me is pride. I do things for myself because it makes me feel good. The feeling of accomplishment just makes me feel great. And the same can be said for the opposite, I hate feeling unprepared. Just one LITTLE thing can throw me off, like forgetting to do an assignment. Like I'll be having a great day, then I'll be stressing out about something that I have to do. During my day, I'll be thinking of that thing the whole day, concentrating only on that, not being able to enjoy my day fully.

Also, something I was thinking about hardxcore music. It fuels me in a weird way, it's weird. I don't listen to it that often anymore. I miss being "that post kid". Listening to it makes me pumped up, I don't know why. I also feel usually happy listening to hardxcore especially since I haven't listened to it in a while. I remember in high school how I'd flail around and scream on trash cans, "DOOOM!". Listening to hxc music made me confident in an eccentric arbitrary way.

Anyway, I know these posts aren't exactly coherent and are maybe a bit nonsensical, but I'm a nonsensical fuck, so it works out. My point is to find what drives you, and hold onto it, use it to your advantage.

8th Blog

Sup Guise!

Yeah this is probably my 10,000th blog. I think the reason why I wrote blogs in the first place was for attention and not for the sake of writing. This is my own blog and I don't intend to tell anyone about it, if someone finds out then whatever, I don't care if they keep up with it or not. I don't want the pressure of captivating people and trying to make my blogs and my life seem more appealing than they really are. So therefore, fuck it.

From now on, my blogs aren't intended to contain any coherent idea.

Kthanxbai,
allanxaesthetics