What drives you?

A few minutes ago, I was pondering: "What motivates me to do what I do?" I think what motivates me is pride. I do things for myself because it makes me feel good. The feeling of accomplishment just makes me feel great. And the same can be said for the opposite, I hate feeling unprepared. Just one LITTLE thing can throw me off, like forgetting to do an assignment. Like I'll be having a great day, then I'll be stressing out about something that I have to do. During my day, I'll be thinking of that thing the whole day, concentrating only on that, not being able to enjoy my day fully.

Also, something I was thinking about hardxcore music. It fuels me in a weird way, it's weird. I don't listen to it that often anymore. I miss being "that post kid". Listening to it makes me pumped up, I don't know why. I also feel usually happy listening to hardxcore especially since I haven't listened to it in a while. I remember in high school how I'd flail around and scream on trash cans, "DOOOM!". Listening to hxc music made me confident in an eccentric arbitrary way.

Anyway, I know these posts aren't exactly coherent and are maybe a bit nonsensical, but I'm a nonsensical fuck, so it works out. My point is to find what drives you, and hold onto it, use it to your advantage.