SF #1 (sensual feeling)

Ever since I was a kid, I could remember vivid feelings, but not just normal feelings. Feelings of the past that would help me reminisce how I felt. Many things help me feel these feelings. For example old momentos and songs. I think it would be very very helpful if I at least would write this out for my own benefit so I won't forget it, or maybe add to it later.

Right now as I'm listening to 'No Such Thing' by John Mayer, I could cry. The amount of memories that go with this song goes way back. This song came out in 2002, around that time when I was 11. I remember hearing this song way back on the trip home from Vegas (or some long rode trip) and not having to worry about anything. Back then I didn't have to worry about school, girls, money, etc. It's amazing how resentful we are when we're older. How we reminisce about the past and how we could've done these things and how these things should've been done. But in reality, it's what we wanted at that time, so there should be no regrets. Regardless, we are where we are whether we like it or not due to our actions. And even if there was a time machine to help us make the right decisions, how guilty would we feel cheating ourselves just to make ourselves a little more well-off.

This song makes me reminisce all the things that I should've done (or at least could've) during my young years of grade school. In high school, I had absolutely no regrets, it was absolutely fun for my last 2 years and I wouldn't spend it any other way (even though I fucked up academically).

But another moment this song makes me think about is La Seda and the Christmas play, the one where I we sung that annoying Chipmunks song. I wanted to be Alvin, I wanted to be the lead singer. My name started with an A, it only made sense right? Well that's what I thought. It's not just that John Mayer song, but the whole elementary years of schooling is connected with this also. What with all those years of going trick-or-treating with my Dad. I love my parents so much and they don't realize it, they think I hate them.

Basically SF stands for sensual feelings, until there is another term to best describe these feelings, I'll be using SF to describe it. Basically, it's just a rant about the past. But the thing is, I don't want to forget the past. Well at least I want to remember when I'm old. Like really old and I think blogging will still be around. Or else I'll just probably transfer these blogs along the way.

Notes:
- Star Wars/living room
- Fluffy and lola and lolo (I need to see lola asap, I miss her)