memories

i was cleaning through my room trying to find my nixon watch, but fuck, unfortunately i think i lost it. as i was cleaning through my drawers, i happened to stumble upon something very important, an old letter of some sort. i didn't want to read it, in fear of being emotionally stabbed in the heart and being reminded of everything once again. i had the courage to put it away, then as i was still rumaging through my drawers, i couldn't stop thinking about what it said. i couldn't remember a thing. if i read it, it would remind me of everything, good and bad. so i decided to give it a go, because for every bad moment, there were at least 2 good ones.

so i read it. and it did not illicit any emotions out of me. instead it gave me more closure. i knew at that moment, it wasn't right, we weren't right back then. she won't be known as the one that "got away," and i won't either, no matter how awesome we grow up to be because it wasn't "real." none of it was. we were the most naive sons of bitches ever. i mean seriously. even at my age right now, i still have no idea what love is. it's a bit clearer but still nonetheless confusing.

anyway, i don't know how to end this, or if i actually learned anything that can be related to anyone else. so i guess my point is, that before you go into something, make sure it's the right decision. don't worry about the past or future, or if you guys will still be together or not, but in the present, the moment of things. at that moment in time, you will know and if you do commit, you will not regret because at that moment you wanted it.